I love you John
by catcarrot
Summary: I don't now what I'm doing. This is only for fun :3 Homestuck belongs to Andrew Hussie. Please don't feel offended, this is only for fun purposes. Used to be called "I love you Fuckass"
1. Chapter 1 I love you Fuckass

There is John and Karkat and Jade and they go to middle school and Karkat is so too handsome that he atractted all the chicks.

One day Jade go to school and says to her big brother: "Later Big Bro'! I'm going to school"  
Then John says: "Be careful, I'm gonna pick you in the afternoon"

Then Jade go running like a crazy and thinks: "Today will be the day that Karkat senpai notices me"  
In the school all the class loves Karkat, but he hates everyone but this not matters because he is too handsome and all the girls love bishounen.  
Jade enter in the class late cuz she was so occupied thinking about Karkat so she misses the bus.  
Then the teacher says: Everybody found a mate for biology.

But Jade comes too late so she misses it and there was only Karkar because everybody loves him and fears him at the same time but whatever.  
And Jade thoughts fly over the class and arrived on Karkat head and he was like "fuck you fuckass ( ò_ó )-"  
and she was like "oh... uh... Karkat senpai you noticed me ( u/O/u )!"

But anyone finish the laboratory problem so they took it to their house like homework and Karkat says:  
"I'm gotta go to your house Harley"  
And she blushes and grin but don't say anything because she was so embarrased to say "ok" but she thinks it and Karkat see it whit his senpai powers.

After that John came for took his little sister and say: "Hi, who are you?"  
And Karkat never seen eyes so blue, and secretly loves blue so he blushes and say all moe:  
"I'm Karkat"  
John smileys and took them in his car and there was his girlfriend Rose and she says: "Hi"  
And Karkat was sad the rest of the path.

Jade and Karkat do the homework in the pretty living of Jade's house and when they finished it they play videogames.  
It was late so she says all happy and stuff:  
"Why you don't stay here and then we can go to the school together tomorrow?"  
And he saw John through the corner of his eye.  
Rose says: "I gotta go, do you want me to pick you to your house Karkat?"  
and Karkat says angry: "NO I'M STAYING HERE FOR THE NIGHT"  
So she leaves and they prepared they prepared the visitor's bedroom.

And Jade say: "Do you want me to make you feeling comfort?"  
And he yell: "NO LET ME ALONE FUCKASS"  
Jade was so sad, than she leaves the room and goes to cry all the night.  
"Why you don't notices me Karkaaaat?"  
and she cries but this is not the story.

Karkat stay unsleeping all the night thinking about Jade's Big Bro. And goes to the kitchen for a glass of water. John was there doing work stuff and don't noticed him"  
Karkat sits in front of him and John says sleepy:  
"Oh hi I don't noticed you"  
And Karkat blushes.  
"Are you okay? You look pretty red!" says John and touches Karkat's forehead.  
Karkat scream quietly.  
"geez Karkat you feel so hot!, I'm gonna take the medicine" says John.  
Karkat was all red like a lobster or a crab. Actually a crab.  
And scream with a girly voice: "Don't do it!"  
And Karkat grabs his hand, then John was a lobster too (all red and warm) and says "why?"  
Karkat whispers: "I feel my hearth all doki doki when I'm with you loser!"  
He says loser because he thinks John is a dork and Rose is too pretty for him but he is an idiot too so it's ok to be with John.  
So John kisses him. And Karkat corresponds. And they two make sweet pails in the dining room.  
And that was like: John grabs Karkat peepee and he moans while John toy with it. So Karkat was all red and kisses him and yells: "OH FUCKASS"  
Then John introduced into Karkat's and they fuck.  
The next day Jade found them sleeping together but it doesn't matter because she discovered she was a lesbian and loves Feferi.  
The end.


	2. Chapter 2 Dirk's Adventures

3 weeks later all the senpais had a picnic in the beautiful park between the blossom cherry trees and all.  
John was there too for the blissful of Karkat.  
"I made you a bento John san" says Karkat glistening.  
"What's a bento?" asked John.  
"FOOD FUCKASS NOW EAT IT!" and put the box into his mouth.  
Dirk, Sollux and Gamzee were there also, except for Dave, he is shota.

They all eat delicious sammiches and sing with a portable karaoke that impregnated all the girls in the zone. Then leave.  
On the way back home Dirk remembered that he leaves something in the park and says:  
"I going to the park because I missed something" and go to the park.

The park was all alone because it was late.  
Dirk found the thing he forget and prepared to leave when he hears in the obscure night a scream and it sounds like "kyaaaa!" what in the moe language is "save me senpai!" and run into the dark night.  
And she was there, a cute blond cat girl climbing on a tree and visible intoxicated being sexually harassed by Jake English who was the sexual bully in the school.  
and he says: "Leave her alone Jake!"  
And Jake was like: "Oh no is senpai I'm gonna leave her alone!" and runs.  
Then the kitty girl down the tree and says:  
"thay u...  
thank u*  
i wes so scared LOL"

"What's your name little kitty?" asked Jake and she answer:  
"roxy rolonde  
lolnode*  
lalonde*  
fuk"

And he offered to leave her in home but she refuses saying:  
"I came frm my wrld for the sqake  
sake*  
of my princiceess  
princiss*  
princess*  
I am here looking 4 prince"

And then she tells him the story of the princess Callie Ohpeee and how she fall asleep 4everz and no one can wake her.

"Do u want 2 foollow me and take this syuper adventure?" asked the cat girl  
And he says: "Yeah"

And the two flies over everything and go to battles and recover treasures and stuff then he was all prepared for use his prince magyiks to awake the princess.  
But the cat girl don't remember something after he goes to the cursed castle and thought:  
"it doesn matters anyways though" and disappear because of his cheshire situation.

And then Dirk go into the labyrinth of the castle, kill imps and then go to the princess bedroom and delicate kiss his hand like the old druids said because she is pure and a kiss in her lips will kill his pureness.  
And Callie was awake and say with his lovely voice:  
"Thank yoU very mUch my brave knight! And like a present for my gratitUde I will give yoU a wish!" and she was all " ^u^ " so he accepted and says: I want a pony.

And a pony appeared in his pocket and he see it was good. And was so happy than he huges her, but she seemed scared but he don't see it and then POOF! she was now another person and screams:  
"PuT ME DOWN PERV!"  
and Dirk was like "ok" and said: "Who are you?"  
and th kid can't answer because the hug make him feel dirty and start to blush and Dirk knelt and kiss his hand and the kid screams but it was not like he likes Dirk or anything.  
And Dirk wanted to go to a date with the cute princess boy but it was too late, he take the pony and absconds forever and Dirk was all sad but the magyiks ends and he was now in another place, found a switch in the wall and when the lights come out there was Karkat and John doing bad things and Dirk screams.

**_Continue..._**


End file.
